Ahh, yeah, I see how I left a couple in the category of domestic labor. Kind of fell of the wagon on the challenge, but working to get back on it only for the sake of the exercise of noticing the cognitive work that goes in every day. Here’s how I would update this: She noticed the paperwork on the counter and thought: “It’s possible Jake will not notice this, and I want to ensure any important info and communication gets to the kids’ teachers in a timely manner.” Then she took the extra step to let me she’d noticed it and took care of it. Then, with packing the water bottles, she considered the weather and activities for the day (my daughter had a different schedule every week, and that particular day was PE) and connected the school schedule with the need for cool, freshly-filled bottles to start the morning. My kids are not at the age where they even always know or are confident enough to ask what they need when they need it, and so there’s an extra layer of thinking that goes into packing them/preparing for the day, which my wife frequently carries.

Hey, I'm Jake. Married for 11 years with three kids—ages five, three, and about to turn one this Saturday. I'm hoping to work on making my wife's invisible and mental labor less "invisible." I want to help our home feel equitable, and I think a large part of that right now for us is my lack of recognizing ways it's *not* equitable and then intentionally taking full CPE ownership of the tasks I'm only partially owning.