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FairPlay Families

Public • 42 • Free

5 contributions to FairPlay Families
Intro
Hi all! I'm Jillian. My husband, Nick, and I are excited to be a part of this program! We live in LA with our almost 9 month old, Everly, our two pups and our two guinea pigs - it's a full house. I work full time as a Sr. Customer Success manager for a digital marketing company and Nick is a Sr. Video Editor for a skincare company. We're just getting started on implementing the Fair Play method and are looking forward to learning more from this group!
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New comment May 13
0 likes • May 13
Welcome!!
Boring Meeting
Hi everyone! Just sharing in case it is helpful that we decided to have two Boring Meetings a week - one on Monday and one on Friday. We discuss logistics and tough topics, and I think we need a meeting at the beginning of the school/work week and one going into the weekend to cover logistics. Right now we use our shared family Google calendar as the framework for logistical discussions but none of the invisible labor is in the Google calendar (although I did recently add Google appointments on each Sunday for (1) Pay nanny (which takes about 30 mins each week given that her hours vary and we reimburse her for miles and things like ice cream, (2) make calendar for week (which takes about an hour to do each week) and (3) work on insurance reimbursements (which takes about an hour each week) - UGH). I put these in the calendar to bring visibility to these invisible tasks that I do AND to remind myself to do them because I am drowning. I would like to try the app that Zach uses. I'm sharing this as a "win/breakthrough" because John used our meeting Friday to discuss a tough topic that was on his mind. I was unprepared for it because it is not typical for John to bring up tough topics, and I was defensive which I regret. It's a huge win that he brought a weighty topic to the table. I have work to do on hearing him. Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend.
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New comment May 11
0 likes • May 11
Amazing job Caroline!! It takes a lot of courage to notice you were being defensive and sharing it here! Knowing that the default system was co-created by the both of you and it will take both parties to co-create a new system with intention and fairness!
Boring meeting
What app or communication tool are you guys using to keep track of items for the Boring Meeting agenda each week? Something you can both contribute to and track if you discussed the topic or not? And what were the topics suggested for the meeting? This is what I was thinking: Calendar- upcoming events, important dates etc Parenting- issues, suggestions, learnings Requests- help with a task, change to a process etc Gratitude- something you are thankful for that the other person did/said etc the past week Cards- what’s working or not, what cards do we need to reshuffle What else?
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New comment May 20
1 like • May 10
Hi Anissa, nico and I used a giant excel sheet for MSC and CPE for the cards and that worked to set the stage. It took a few meetings to get that list compiled. We agreed to hold the cards for a quarter before checking in to reshuffle As for boring meeting agenda, a simple notes on the iPhone shared between both partners and we would make to-do lists and boring meeting agenda items to discuss. The to do list there helped us stay on track with what we promised the other partner we would get done I would like to move this over to notion one day because I like how tables and to do lists look on that website but that’s a want not a need
What I’m most looking forward to
Something I noticed the first 6 weeks that the cards were set and started to fall into place was a huge increase in thank you’s and appreciation by both myself @Nico Abaya. Without FairPlay, everything we did was unconsciously expected and there wasn’t much room to do acts of service. But when the cards and person holding them were clear, there opened opportunities for loving acts of kindness. I remember getting ready for a flight and I always carried the mental load of having the dishes cleaned before we went to avoid fruit flies and such, and I was overwhelmed by packing my things, my partner did the dishes even though it was my card. I appreciated this moment very much, knowing that he knew it was my task and wanted to take something off my plate! More of this is starting to flow in and moments of letting each other feel appreciated have truly been magical!
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What I’m most looking forward to
Intro
-Name/Spouse Name Hi Everyone! Delilah! Nico is my husband -How much you've done so far with implementing Fairplay I found FairPlay attending an online psychotherapy symposium and heard the author Eve Rodsky as a keynote speaker March 2023. I wanted to implement it but it was hard to articulate what I needed without the underlying emotions of burnout from the home. Found Zach’s content in December and thankful my husband had the willingness to join Zach’s Men’s Mental load Mastery coaching in January. It was helpful to see this taught from the perspective of men! We have been getting the foundations of FairPlay in place and are still ironing out the wrinkles. -How long you've been together/kids if any It will be our 10 year wedding anniversary this December! Our family, we are a childfree by choice couple with a pup, this is conscious and intentional and we are here to be part of the village in support of parents! -What part of the world you are in We are from the SF Bay Area but recently moved to Las Vegas! -Work/Career situation I am a transformational NLP practitioner and looking to start creating content for my area of expertise. -Unicorn Space My unicorn space is dance, I have auditioned for NFL dance teams in the past and would love to make a team one day! -Goals for the program The house we bought was way to much house for us and the mental load was really affecting me/us. Thanks to FairPlay we realized the best decision was to sell the house and we moved to a lovely apartment in Las Vegas which is much more manageable for the both of us. So with our new home I would love to build the foundation of this FairPlay system, have our unicorn space, strengthen our connection for this new chapter in our lives!
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1-5 of 5
Delilah Abaya
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15points to level up
@delilah-abaya-4595
Excited to be part of this group

Active 109d ago
Joined May 6, 2024
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