Thanks everyone for the great call. Got me thinking about this orienting principle. Sometimes we have to see if we can "find it in our heart" to do something, for example, for our parents that we don't want to do. There is a place for grace here, where you can be surprised by unexpected generosity, an unexpected heart opening, that shifts you out of "should" and into choice. On the other hand, sometimes our relationship with a parent who has hurt us and never showed capacity and/or interest in getting real and getting closer, is over and has been over for years / decades. It's sad and all there is to do is grieve. If we are the only one left to do the caring, then give what you can, establish clear boundaries, and come into full acceptance of the situation - which also shifts one out of endurance. It's not fair, true. But life isn't fair, and that is also something to accept.

Hi everyone. I'm beginning to live my own life and need more help so I don't regress. I am surfacing after a 48-year marriage.