Not sure where to take this... Open to ideas
Without turning this into a complete therapy session I recently had a couple of pretty intense encounters with a family member of a former friend. It almost got physical. The interaction got me thinking about all the other instances that I got into a fight or almost got into a fight and I started this piece. The working title is "I still love you tho." On the 2nd verse I start to contextualize and speak about the reason why such instances occur but I feel like that is typical of my writing. I want to write about another instance but I feel like I got my point across pretty clear in this initial piece. I"m happy for any feed back.
Please keep in mind that this a verse in a rap song so, I'm interested in suggestions on how I can add some nuance to the content. Thank you in advance!
The work is below.
Heart thumpin quicker with each step//
a weak breathe//
creeps pass the eclipse my lip pressed//
hood 6th sense //
I watched em from a block away//
8 or so heads that handle rocks like doctor Jay//
bodies on the block minds still locked away//
or perhaps it’s just not my day//
I see them staring, i'm thinking is there anything that I’m carrying I could use as a weapon//
In case these niggas start pressing//
luckily I know some one who lives in this section// he just stepped from his porch to give me a dap and a blessing//
I stopped for a second//
to check in//
To make my potential assailants, think I’m not stressing//
maybe it was wise, maybe it wasn’t //
I walked past, I heard subtle threats but they didn’t do nothin//
I put on my headphones and asked why is it always the brothers?
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Dat Amen
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Not sure where to take this... Open to ideas
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