The importance of real life with self improvement When I started self improvement I buried myself in books, podcasts, and YouTube videos. I thought locking myself away was what I was meant to do. But this contradicted my self improvement goal. My main goal was to improve my confidence and social skills, but how do you that when you only read books and don’t talk to anyone? Yes, managing your time is essential. There are times to be disciplined and work behind the scenes, but there’s also a time to be social and apply what you’ve learnt. At the end of the day we are social animals (as Simon Sinek says). One of the biggest issues we face in society is loneliness. Social connection is one of the essentials for life. Now, I don’t let my self improvement journey damage my social skills. I try and meet friends when I can and have spontaneous meet ups. But as long as I can still get my priority work done. How do you guys feel about this and what are your thoughts?

Be A Goldfish If you have ever watched Ted Lasso you will be familiar with this phrase. When one of his players makes a mistake, Ted tells them to ‘Be A Goldfish’. And yeah they give the same reaction you probably just had which is… ‘What on earth are you talking about?’ No he is not telling you to grow fins and go for a swim. Although if you can do that, go for it. It is said that Goldfish have an incredibly short memory and so they move on quicker. I doubt they experience the same problems as us but it’s still useful for them I guess. The point is to not get caught up in your mistakes and dwell on them. See if there is something you can learn from them, and move on. You can’t change the past, but you can impact the future. So when you make a mistake next time, ‘Be A Goldfish’ and get back to work.

When I started gaining an interest in self improvement it was very easy to think big. I thought that through reading books and listening to podcasts, I would be able to become one of the most confident, motivated, and disciplined people on the planet. The issue I had was that I thought these skills would just come to me because I was passively consuming the information. I thought that after listening to a podcast on confidence, I would just automatically become confident. I was missing the key ingredient. ACTION! Sure you will gain knowledge and become more aware through just consuming, but the way you start to master these skills is through applying. The best way to get the ball rolling, in my opinion, is to START SMALL. I was trying to build a Youtube channel without first knowing how to film a video. I was trying to run a marathon without first running a half marathon. I was trying to hold a conversation with people without knowing how to ask questions. Talking to people becomes a lot less scary when you have a few questions in your back pocket ready to be used. And a conversation becomes even less scary when you realise it is just a chain of events: 1. Smile  2. Shake hand  3. Say hello 4. Call them by their name  5. Ask them question 1  6. Listen intently 7. Nod along  8. Comment  9. Ask question 2  10. Listen 11. Answer their question  12. Say nice to meet you 13. Say goodbye That seems a lot less scary than someone telling you to go off and have a conversation with someone you have never met before. You can even break parts of that down even smaller so it’s easier. The key to building skills is to start small. If you’re struggling with motivation, use James Clear’s Two Minute Rule and just do the task for two minutes. Chances are you will carry on long past that. Let me know below how you scale down difficult things and share your thoughts!