Just Cleared a Belief · RyanFowlerSOS

Just Cleared a Belief

I've been procrastinating Hypnosis for a while, but I have still been putting effort into learning about myself, and it's not necessarily bad that I procrastinated, cause during the session things came up that I don't think I would've handled well if I hadn't have experienced some of the things I have lately.

For example, I have been doing some Shadow Work with a coach in my country (Denmark). Shadow work is very similar to Hypnosis but you do shorter sessions of about 10-minutes and try to "integrate" certain shadows. During these sessions, I learned that my imagination/subconscious can run wild. It can throw curveballs that seem random. For example, for those of you who've listened to the self-hypnosis audio, you know that there isn't "Supposed" to be a "Good Part of You" that appears and talks to you. For me this happened. I was struggling with the Tornado...It wouldn't disappear after it came and sucked everything out of me.

Then this creature...a small cartoon-looking half-man half-scorpion popped up. Almost looked like a cartoon beetled with claws like a scorpion. It told me "Listen, I am the good part of you. The part that wants the best for you" and then it helped me stop focusing on the tornado.

And when I released the grime from my body, it flowed out FAST and created a GIANT pile of shit. A mountain. And I got propelled upwards and slid down it at the end. Then when the dirt dissapeared into the ground, it created a big crater which I fell into, and the ground closed in above me. But then I got shot up through the hole and it disappeared as I flew out.

And what taught me to just let it happen was a mushroom trip I had about a month ago. And I was tought how to deal with these unexpected things through the shadow work. I learned to talk to these enteties and that being forceful doesn't work.

Anyways. The belief I worked on was the belief that I cannot change. I felt incapable of being able to change through hypnosis for example. I always felt tethered to my old self, like I was being delusional about the change I'd already made and that any future positive change was too good to be true.

I thought it was a good place to start, cause this belief may get in the way of progress with other beliefs. And it was something that popped up at the end of a session I did with Jordan Kurtz Hypnosis.

I was transported back to a memory I have from when I was 4-5 years old. I think I was 4. Long story short, I really wanted this toy, and my dad said I couldn't have it. It had something to do with me having to have earnt it in some way. I didn't deserve it. And then I got upset and didn't want to leave. Something just drove me to want that toy. And then my dad said "You can have it" eventually. But he seemed annoyed. I didn't want it, but I wanted it at the same time. I felt stuck, and I didn't want to accept the toy, because I felt that if I'd accept it, then I had gotten something I didn't deserve. I felt like I'd be bad for accepting it.

He gave me an ultimatum, cause I was just quiet. He said that I had to answer him right then and there. I could choose whether I wanted it or not, but we were going home afterwards, and if I didn't say yes to it in time, then I would never get it.

I just stayed silent and he said "Ok, we're going" and I started crying. And my dad stood by his word. We went home. And I knew I wouldn't get that toy, cause I knew my dad meant what he said, and I felt sad about it, but I still didn't know what I should've done, because there was resistance no matter what I chose. I just felt I didn't deserve it.

I knew if I'd have gone home with the Toy, I'd feel guilty.

Throughout the session, I doubted that it would work, multiple times, but at the end I realized it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter whether the session worked or not, (To be more specific, I don't doubt that it has affected me, I just doubt whether it has completely cleared my trauma) cause if it didn't work, then it was a failure...but failure is what gets you to success, so I just need to try again if it didn't fully clear.

I embodied all the emotions I was feeling throughout too. I've never felt such intense emotion before, even during my session with Jordan Kurtz. And I felt energised and happy when the positive beliefs were being programmed into me. Half-laughing and half-crying. And I shook and rocked my body. And when I was listening to the part about failure and success I could feel success surging through my body and a big smile formed and I put my arms out to the sides, letting myself shine.

Throughout the session there were also flashes of women. Beliefs around women is something I'm going to tackle moving forwards, but thought it was funny that it popped up in this session. My young self went over to a little brunette girl and kissed her without a second thought and jumped up and down afterwards, and at one point I saw woman after woman showing me affection. It was a first person perspective and it was as if the faded in, did an act of affection, then faded out and the next faded in. So for example; Woman one walks towards me, fading in, kisses my cheek and fades out in that position, woman two fades in and then does something different like just hugging me warmly, etc.

And when I was sat in my peaceful, serene place of choice (The beach at my summerhouse) a woman, or at least the silhouette, was beside me. She kept flashing between being a woman and a dashed outline of a woman.

So ultimately, a big win, hope you enjoyed reading!

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