Jun '23 (edited) in The Problem of Security
20 Rules for existing in corporate life
When I left academia and returned to the suit & tie brigade, I collated rules that I thought I could refer to in times of stress. A lot of them are common sense, a few of them are recycled from throwaway quips, and one or two are things to live by.
I regulary trot these out to juniors in my team as a demonstration of how to become cynical and make it through the day when the C-s upstairs mess up the day
1. Be patient
2. Always work as a team.
3. If you dont get what you want, take it! figuratively (first)
4. When dealing with management, don't give them problems, give them solutions
5. It is better to seek forgiveness than ask permission
6. Anything that can be measured, can be delivered.
7. Dont stress! It's not like anyone died
8. The number of breaths in, must equal the number of breaths out - and increase the length of them breaths!
9. Trust no one, everybody lies - double check
10. Always carry a knife
11. If something looks too good to be true, it usually is.
12. When you are finished, walk away
13. Bend the line, dont break it
14. Your manager is not always the smartest person in the room
15. Never mess with my coffee if you expect me to help you
16. Find the biggest kid in the playground and either make friends with them or beat the shit out of them - figuratively (first)
17. Life is too short
18. Nothing gets fixed until it is truly broken
19. Sympathy sits inbetween shit and syphillis in the dictionary
20. Never let a good disaster go to waste
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20 Rules for existing in corporate life
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