You're no special than anyone

Jun 27 (edited) in Self Improvement & Motivation

In this personal development and success, you focus on external challenges and obstacles. But one of the biggest enemies you face is internal: your own ego. Ryan Holiday, who became the director of marketing for American Apparel at 21 and a best-selling author of 4 books by 29, writes about this in his book “Ego Is the Enemy.”

But what is ego and why is it the enemy of long-term success? Ryan defines ego as “an unhealthy belief in our own importance.” It’s the force that takes your natural self-image and turns it into an obsession. Ego turns confidence into arrogance and self-awareness into self-absorption. As Hall of Fame basketball coach Pat Riley put it, “It’s the disease of me.”

Ego is so powerful it can sabotage your long-term goals and distract you from mastering your craft. Ryan has gone so far as to tattoo “Ego Is the Enemy” on his arm as a constant reminder. Let’s get into how ego shows up at different stages of your journey and why you need to keep it in check.

The Three Phases Where Ego Manifests

Aspiration
Success
Failure

Ego in Aspiration

When you aspire to do something great your ego can be your worst enemy. It shows up in several ways:

Seeking constant approval: Ego makes you worry too much about what others think of you. You will find yourself constantly asking, “What are people thinking about me?”
Talking instead of doing: Ego likes to talk about what you’re going to do instead of actually doing it. It loves the attention and admiration you get for your plans even if they never come to fruition.
Fear of silence and real work: The thought of going silent and focusing on the work that will make you proud can be terrifying for your ego.

To illustrate this Ryan shares the story of author Emily Gould and her ego while writing her book. Instead of writing, she constantly updated her social media and blog. She says, “I tumbled, I tweeted, and I scrolled. This didn’t earn me any money but it felt like work.” For an entire year she made little to no progress on her book as her ego kept her focused on her online presence instead of creating something real.

This is a big lesson: real work happens in silence, behind the scenes. But your ego wants instant gratification and recognition and will prevent you from doing the work to get there.

Ego’s Impact on Success: The Overconfidence Trap

Now you’ve managed to keep your ego in check long enough to achieve some success. Good for you! But watch out, because this is when ego becomes even more dangerous. Here’s how ego shows up when we’re successful:

Complacency: Success makes you feel like you’ve “made it,” so you will stop putting in the effort and dedication that got you there in the first place.
Entitlement: You start to feel like you deserve success in everything you do, no matter how unprepared you are or how tough the competition is.
Overreaching: Ego convinces you that you’re invincible so you take on more than you can handle or venture into areas where you have no expertise.

Success makes you complacent, entitled, and overconfident. You start to think you're invincible, that every idea you have is gold. Holiday puts it perfectly: “Ego is the enemy of success because it makes you complacent, because it makes you entitled, because it makes you overreach.”

Ryan uses the story of Howard Hughes to illustrate this. At 18, Hughes made a bold and successful move to buy out his relatives and own 100% of his family’s oil drill bit company, the Hughes Tool Company. This move turned a $1 million business into a billion-dollar company.

But this early success went to his head and he thought he could succeed in any business. He went into aviation, film, and stock trading. He had some initial successes but lost most of his fortune over his lifetime.

Towards the end of his life, a biographer described him as a broken man, sitting in his favorite white chair, unwashed and unshaven, working 24/7 to fend off lawyers, investigations, and investors to save his crumbling empire and hide his dirty secrets.

This is a brutal image of what happens when ego, fueled by early success, goes unchecked. It’s a reminder to stay grounded and focused even (or especially) when we succeed.

Ego’s Role in Failure: The Blame Game

Now here’s where ego really gets to cut deep. When you face setbacks or failure your ego jumps in to “save” you – by dodging responsibility and making excuses.

Holiday tells the story of Dov Charney, founder of American Apparel. After massive losses and scandals, Charney was offered a chance to step aside as CEO and be a creative consultant for the company. Instead of swallowing his pride and helping the company he built, his ego made him sue the company and bring it to bankruptcy. He ended up broke and sleeping on a friend’s couch because his ego couldn’t take the hit.

Ego

In all three phases – aspiration, success, and failure – ego gets in the way of you focusing on the work and producing something you can be proud of. As Ryan Holiday says he battles with this every day (hence the tattoo!).

Understanding how ego manifests in these different phases the first step is in combating its negative influence. By recognizing the signs of ego at work, you can start to develop strategies to keep it in check and maintain your focus on what truly matters: the work itself.

So, what can you do about it? How do you keep your egos in check and stay focused on what really matters? I’ll get into all that in Part 2. You’ll look at practical strategies for ego at every phase, like the "Plus, Minus, and Equal method."

Hit that follow button by clicking on my profile so you get that notification when I post part 2 or something amazing instead of working hard to find it between other posts (Just 1 super mind-blowing post per day so no spamming notifications at all!!!)

I really hope you find them helpful and start using the tips I share. I've dedicated my entire freshman year to researching productivity, life improvement, study techniques, note-taking methods, and more. This involved reading tons of books, scouring the web, talking to people, and watching around 3000 hours of YouTube videos on these topics.

If there's a specific book or topic you'd like me to cover in a post, just let me know. I'm happy to do it.

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Stay tuned; in the meantime, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Have you noticed ego creeping into your own life? How have you dealt with it? Please drop a comment below!👇👇👇

The title was not meant to be rude, it is just a way to make people click the post, I know you are unique and special but only if you have been or will be using the strategies I have been sharing here!!

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