You Want to Grow, Right? Then Why Fear Problems?

Jun 22 (edited) in Self Improvement & Motivation

These posts take a lot of time to write(this one alone took me about 3 hours.) I really hope you find them helpful and start using the tips I share. I've dedicated my entire freshman year to researching productivity, life improvement, study techniques, note-taking methods, and more. This involved reading tons of books, scouring the web, talking to people, and watching around 3000 hours of YouTube videos on these topics. If there's a specific book or topic you'd like me to cover in a post, just let me know. I'm happy to do it. I'm thinking about writing a post on "The Luck Factor" by Richard Wiseman, but I'm open to suggestions if you're interested in something else. So your comments keep these posts visible. For some reason, the algorithm only shows the post when there's a new comment (we totally need a better system... 🫤). So drop a line and help spread the knowledge! Anyways, back to the main post...

We all have obstacles in our lives - mental, physical or emotional. Sometimes these obstacles paralyze us and lead to procrastination and avoidance. But what if these very obstacles could be opportunities for growth? What if we could use them to our advantage?

This is the core of Ryan Holiday’s book “The Obstacle Is The Way”. He draws from the principles of Stoicism, an ancient Greek philosophy and uses many historical examples to make the case: obstacles are inevitable, but how we respond to them is what determines our path to success and personal growth.

The title of the book is from a quote by Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” This idea is mirrored in the Zen expression, “The obstacle is the path.”

Overcoming obstacles to live a happier, healthier and more productive life boils down to three simple steps:

Perception
Action
Will

Part 1: Perception

You’ve got a big test in your toughest subject coming up. Do you:

a) Freak out and think you’re going to fail?

b) See it as an opportunity to prove to yourself how much you can learn when you put your mind to it?

If you chose b) you’re already being Stoic!

The first part of the book is about perception, which is about how we see and understand the world around us, and more importantly, how we judge and interpret those events. Our perceptions can be our strengths or our weaknesses. If we’re emotional, subjective, and short-sighted we’ll only interpret an event badly and therefore have unhelpful perceptions. But by controlling our emotions, putting things in perspective and looking at things objectively we can start to see obstacles more clearly.

The main point of the perception section of the book is one of the key teachings from Stoicism which is we are in control of how we interpret events. As Professor Dumbledore so famously said, “Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” It’s this idea that if we come across obstacles or stuff that isn’t going our way, it’s very easy for us to become scared, frustrated, angry - all that stuff. As the Stoics say we can either let these primal negative feelings control our response, we can choose to give in to them or we can learn to filter them out and detach ourselves from the situation and look at things a bit more objectively.

There’s a great chapter in this section called “Controlling Your Emotions” Where he talks about how we can all develop the skill of controlling our emotions and he says the Greeks had a word for this: apatheia. It’s the kind of calm equanimity that comes with the absence of irrational or extreme emotions - not the loss of feeling altogether, just the loss of the harmful, unhelpful kind. Don’t let the negativity in. Don’t let those emotions even get started. Just say, “No thank you, I can’t afford to panic.”

One of the techniques he talks about for dealing with negative emotions is to defeat them with logic which is what I do every time I have a negative emotion. I do this so often now it’s almost second nature to the point where I’ll hardly ever experience a strong negative emotion because I know I can just break it down with logic.

An example is the Apollo astronauts. John Glenn, the first American to orbit the Earth, had a heart rate of below 100 during his historic flight. This wasn’t because it wasn’t dangerous but because of extensive training. As Jim Lovell, another famous astronaut, said they practiced so much that even when things went wrong it wasn’t unfamiliar or scary.

To develop this kind of thinking you need to train yourself to stay calm under pressure, break things down logically and see opportunities where others see only problems. As Eisenhower said during a critical moment in World War II, “The present situation is to be regarded as opportunity and not disaster.”

So next time you’re faced with a tough task or presentation try this:

Breathe.
Look at the situation objectively. What are the facts?
Ask yourself: “What’s the opportunity here? How can this make me stronger/smarter/better?”

Remember, it’s not about pretending everything’s awesome. It’s about training yourself to see the potential in every challenge.

Part 2: Action - Don’t Just Stand There, Do Something

While perception is important, it’s meaningless without action. The Stoics emphasized action above all else and he carries this theme through the second part of the book.

One of my favourite stories is from Coach Nick Saban of the University of Alabama American football team which apparently wins lots of championships and stuff which is apparently a big deal in America. But their coach has a mantra which is to focus on the process. He says, “Don’t think about winning the championship. Think about what you need to do in this drill, on this play, in this moment. That’s the process. Let’s think about what we can do today, the task at hand.”

This “journey before destination” thing where we focus on the process not the outcome is honestly I think the answer to everything. It’s like one of the basic pieces of life advice that all self-help and personal development converges on. Because most of the overthinking and the anxiety and the worry we have about stuff is when we’re too focused on the outcome. So if we just focus on the process and the journey (a) everything’s more fun because we’re actually in the moment but (b) we’re a lot less anxious about the outcome because we don’t really care about the outcome - we care about the process.

In this section Ryan also talks about consistency and persistence which is another one of my rants I always go on. He mentions Thomas Edison who did over 6,000 experiments to find the missing element of his filament bulb. While there were many others at the time trying to invent a working light bulb system, it was Thomas Edison who persisted through multiple iterations and overcame the obstacles most successfully.

Remember, action beats anxiety every time. When you’re worried about something, doing something about it will make you feel better than just stressing out.

So in short, action is about being consistent and focusing on the process because, as Ryan says in the book, “We are A to Z thinkers, fretting about A, obsessing over Z, yet forgetting all about B through Y.”

Part 3: Will

Our first two bits, perception and action, those are the disciplines of the mind and the body, whereas the third one, will, is the discipline of the heart and the soul. As Ryan writes, will is really about inner fortitude and wisdom - not just about specific obstacles, but about life itself and where the obstacles we’re facing fit within it. This is where the Stoic concept of “amor fati” (love of fate) comes into play. Will gives us the strength to contextualize events, endure hardship, and derive meaning from obstacles that we can’t seemingly overcome.

This is all part of what the Stoics called our “inner citadel.” The idea is that by strengthening our inner citadel, we can then approach life’s problems in a way that lets us get benefit and power out of them. One of the classic ways the Stoics used to do this that Ryan talks about is this idea of premeditating adversity. It’s about putting ourselves in the shoes of something bad happening to us so that if it does happen, we are more prepared for it.

Another really important part of strengthening our will, strengthening this inner citadel, is learning to accept the stuff that we can’t control. This was one of the effective ways that the Stoics focus their will, by asking themselves the simple question of “What is in my control and what is not in my control?” We can’t change external factors like natural events or the actions of others, or even what others think about us, but we can control and change internal factors like our emotions, judgments, attitudes, and decisions.

The last point I want to talk about is a quote from Nietzsche, who famously wrote, “My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backwards, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it.”

This is the concept of amor fati, which translates to “the love of fate.” It’s great because it’s like this ideal state of being where we love whatever it is that happens to us. We’re not worrying about the past, we’re not fixated on the future, we’re not worrying about anything - we’re just… whatever happens, we accept it firstly, but then we learn to love it because that’s just the best way to be.

With the triad of perception, action, and will, we can move forward in the knowledge that we can see clearly, act clearly, and accept the world as it is. As Marcus Aurelius said, “Objective judgment, now at this very moment. Unselfish action, now at this very moment. Willing acceptance - now at this very moment - of all external events. That is all you need.”

Here’s how you can build your will:

Practice “amor fati”. When something doesn’t go your way - maybe you didn’t make the team or get the grade you wanted - look for the lesson or the opportunity in it. How can this make you better?
Develop a growth mindset. Believe you can improve and grow through effort and learning. Your abilities aren’t fixed; they can develop over time.
Help someone else. When you’re going through tough times, sometimes the best thing you can do is help someone else. It builds your resilience and puts your own challenges in perspective.
Set small wins and celebrate when you hit them. This builds your confidence and shows you can overcome.

Conclusion

Perception: How you see the problem is the problem. Train yourself to look for opportunities in every challenge.
Action: Don’t wait for things to get easier. Take action, even if it’s just a small step. Persistence pays off.
Will: Build your inner strength. Learn from setbacks, help others, and believe in your ability to grow and improve.

By cultivating clear perception, taking persistent action, and developing resilient will, we can turn obstacles into opportunities. As the ancient king’s message stated, “Inside every obstacle is always a chance to improve our condition.”

The obstacle is the way. It’s a simple concept, but not an easy one to apply. However, with practice and perseverance, we can learn to see challenges as opportunities for growth, take decisive action in the face of adversity, and cultivate the will to endure and thrive. In doing so, we don’t just overcome obstacles - we use them as stepping stones to become stronger, wiser, and more capable individuals.

Check out my other posts where I talk about:

1. "Why Are You Not Successful?" - Uncover the traits of successful people and learn how to develop them yourself.

2. "Why Are You Lying to Yourself?" - Explore the hidden motives behind your actions and decisions.

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