If you're on a mission to build your social circle, you'll be meeting copious amounts of new people constantly. And when you do, you can be sure as hell everyone is going to ask you the inevitable, “And where are you from?”
When faced with the question, most people simply give their one-word answers: Toronto, Miami, London, etc. Whilst this does answer their question, the reality is that most people ask it not because they are truly curious to know where you were born, but because it's a safe and easy way to try to get a conversation going with you. They are trying to connect with you!
Do humanity and yourself a favour. Never, ever, give just a one sentence response to the question, “Where are you from?” Give the asker some fuel for his tank. Give the other person something to conversationally nibble on. All it takes is an extra sentence or two about your city—some interesting fact, some witty observation—to hook the asker into the conversation.
To do this, all you have to do is learn some engaging facts about your hometown that conversational partners can comment on. For example:
— "So Karim, where are you from?"
— "I'm from Mexico City, a tiny cow town of 23 million people. Have you ever been?”
I’m using both sarcasm/humour and adding an interesting fact about my city that will definitely keep us talking. From this point on, the conversation can go in many different directions: big cities vs small cities, international travel, Mexican culture, etc.
If you want to put this technique on steroids, tailor the extra comment about your city to the context of whoever asked. For example, let’s say you are from Columbus, Ohio:
- When you are talking with a businessperson, your answer could be, “I’m from Columbus, Ohio. You know many major corporations do their product testing in Columbus because it’s so commercially typical. In fact, it’s been called ‘the most American city in America.’ They say if it booms or bombs in Columbus, it booms or bombs nationally.”
- Talking with someone with a German last name? Tell her about Columbus’s historic German Village with the brick streets and the wonderful 1850s-style little houses.
- Your conversation partner’s surname is Italian? Tell him Genoa, Italy, is Columbus’s sister city.
- Talking with an American history buff? Tell him that Columbus was, indeed, named after Christopher Columbus and that a replica of the Santa Maria is anchored in the Scioto River.
- Talking with a student? Tell her about the five universities in Columbus.
- You suspect your conversation partner has an artistic bent? Remind him that Columbus was the home of artist George Bellows.
If you can master this little technique, you’ll become infinitely more effective at small talk, which then paves the way for big talk. It’s quite unfortunate that so many conversations end with a blank stare after the person answers the question “Where are you from?” and then neither one has anything else to say about the matter, and that’s the end of the conversation. That shouldn't be you anymore!