I went to school for electrical engineering. I wasn't particularly good at it, but I thought that's the career path I wanted to go down. I made it through with an average GPA. I was anxious to get out of my parents house so I applied for jobs all over the United States. I had job offers in Mississippi and Alaska, obviously I chose Alaska. I worked for a small cooperative in Kodiak, Alaska for 5 years. A typical track for electrical engineers is to get their BSEE (Bachelor's of Science in Electrical Engineering), EIT (Engineer in Training certificate), and finally the PE (Professional Engineering license). I patiently waded through the BSEE, and I passed the EIT before graduating, it wasn't difficult compared to the degree I earned. The PE, however, has a pathetic pass rate. It was only 42% the last time I checked. AND it requires 4 years of experience underneath another PE. I won't bore your with the details, but essentially I didn't qualify for even taking the exam in Alaska because I was the only engineer working for the cooperative. I'm the only electrical engineer on the island and the Alaska board of engineers won't give me a pass. I tried everything, including reaching out to consulting engineers in Anchorage I knew, and I even asked my boss to write a letter of explanation, but no sympathy was given. That was just to take the test! I'd been studying for the exam for several months at this point, and it was definitely frustrating to be told my time at the cooperative was useless without a PE to check my work. Months went by, whenever I had a spare hour in the office I'd pull up the file where my PE stuff was and think about what I could do, or if I was stuck being an EIT. One day I had an idea. I'll get the license in another state and transfer it to Alaska. I checked the state reciprocity rules, and it seems to work. I looked for options close to Kentucky, as my wife and I were going to visit for Christmas. Shoot, the closest destination is Chattanooga, Tennessee, and I only have 20 days to start studying again. No other times or dates were available. I guess I'll aim for a Tennessee license!

Growing up, I had emotionally absent parents. It's not their fault, I don't believe they knew how to provide what they didn't have either. Because of this, it meant I was extraordinarily reserved and introverted. I was always labeled as "quiet"; that was often the first word people used to describe me. Though my mouth was quiet, my mind raced. I wanted to know how the world worked and I became an active reader. When problems arose, I figured them out for myself. My uncle constantly criticized me to my face for being "a 30-year-old in a 13-year-old body". He thought my childhood was dull and boring. Looking back, I can't say that I disagree with him. I am, however, thankful for the mental fortitude I developed over the years. I learned that mental endurance works for me. Maybe that's why I still choose the harder path to travel today. I'm quite comfortable doing long and difficult tasks, because I know I'll come out on top in the end, and few will try to follow. I'm not all the way there yet -I still have days I'm not proud of- but this is one of my strong suits. I know I'm not going to die, so I can take a step back, regroup, and push onward. What's your path to mental resilience look like?

My wife and I had a prenatal appointment last night at 5. We drove an hour one-way just to find out the appointment had been forgotten. Did I respond well? Did I shrug it off and move on? Did I let the events I can't control affect my mood? Was I mentally resilient? Alas, no! I was pretty frustrated to say the least. The appointment was immediately rescheduled after the mistake was realized, but now it means another 2 hours of driving. I don't hate driving. Traffic isn't bad here in east Tennessee. I love spending time with my wife, and I recognize the importance of going with her to these appointments. I wasn't feeling well to begin with, but excuses don't make up for how I let unforeseen circumstances effect my mentality. Instead, I should have let it roll off and I should have moved on as soon as possible. There's nothing else we could have done; the mistake was past. Learn from my mistake: don't let events that are out of your control, control who you become and how you behave!

Think of your life as a series of modes of transportation. Sometimes you’re walking, sometimes running, biking, or swimming. This can be both literal and figurative. Where is your plane headed? Who’s driving your boat? How many different trains are you riding on right now? Every person you meet can push you a little further down your path. Each day is an opportunity to move the needle a bit more than yesterday. Where did you start? At zero. That’s where we all begin, in every area of life. We start different categories at different times, competing in multiple races simultaneously. But how many races do you want to compete in? Can you compete in many and win? Yes, but not without sacrifice. If you only focus on one, it will likely progress further, but will you enjoy limiting yourself to just one? Imagine each area of your life as a car on a road. You can’t easily drive more than one car at a time, right? You drive one car for a while, then switch to another, and so on. This is what our lives look like, moving multiple vehicles down the timeline of life. Consider your favorite athlete—let’s take Cameron Hanes, for example. How many hours does he spend training for hunts or practicing with his bow? Many more than most of us ever will. He pushes himself a little further every day with consistent and intentional practice. But he doesn’t do much outside of that. In his book Endure, he discusses the significant sacrifices he’s made to pursue his dreams. Imagine how long it would take you to catch up with his experience! Let me share a few of the races I’m competing in, and how I rate myself on a scale from 1-10. A 1 means I’ve just started, and a 10 means I’ve perfected it. I’m training for an IRONMAN (3), starting my own business (5), buying land and building a house (6), getting ready to have my first child (2), lifting weights every day (9), and reading and praying daily (8). Every aspect of my life is something I can improve. But which ones am I prioritizing? Are they the ones I want to be prioritizing? I’d love to add playing guitar to the mix, but the other items take precedence right now.

Think back to something difficult you’ve seen all the way through to fruition. A good example for me was engineering college. There were many insufferable nights full of studying where I wondered why I was there. Heavy schedules of pre-requisite courses I didn’t want to take, hateful professors who only communicated through teaching assistants, and little money to survive on week to week. Why would I choose this for myself? Did I want to be an engineer that bad? Right now, I’m training for a marathon. I don’t even like running that much! It’s a bucket list goal I want to mark off this year, and running is good for me, but I really don’t enjoy the mental aspect of running. It’s so difficult to do something so simple for hours at a time: just run! There’s nothing to it, but the sheer mass of passing time rarely seems easier to endure than the last time. What do these two scenarios have in common? It’s only hard for now. Years in our lives go by seemingly faster and faster; when we look back at the past, we don’t remember the trials as much as the accomplishments. I’m so thankful that I pushed through the engineering degree. Although I’m not using it now, it enabled me to pursue the further education I really wanted, it put me in a position to meet my wonderful wife, and I created friendships and adventures I wouldn’t trade anything for. What if I had given up because it was too hard? The same goes for the marathon. I sprained my ankle last month. I don’t even know how I did it. I was running on flat ground in shoes I’ve had for months and all of the sudden my ankle felt way too big for the shoe. Then, I have IT band syndrome as well. That’s lovely. The days I run without pain are much fewer than the days with. You know what though? I’m going to run that marathon without stopping, and I’m going to be extremely proud of doing so. Why? Simply because it’s a goal I have and I want to accomplish it. I only know of 1-2 people in my social circles who have completed a marathon, and I know it’s a difficult task. I don’t shy away from difficult.