What's the toughest emotional event you've lived though?

This was a tough one to write.

For me, I think of the day when I learned an immediate family member nearly took his own life. I didn't understand. I thought I could have been part of the problem, then I wondered if I should have been part of the solution, but I didn't know how. I was only a teenager at the time, but it stuck with me in a really dark way for a long time.

I wanted to understand why these things happened; how they transpired and how they dissolved in a healthy manner. I've since dived deep into psychological material and studied human behavior to help me understand the whys and hows of these dark periods. I wanted to be prepared for how to react and help someone if this were to ever happen again. I'm not saying you need to become a psychiatrist, but I am saying you need to know how you're going to respond when -not if- these events happen.

This wasn't easy, especially with the proximately of the relationship. Reliving the darkest hour and trying to figure out what words or actions would be appropriate at which times is horrible to think about. Yet, it is the price to pay to establish the emotional resilience required to assist someone that far gone.

Twelve years later, I got another call. A different relative -though just as close- attempted to take his life and failed. I'm in the same nightmare again. The feelings of nausea are creeping back even as I write this a couple years afterward. But I knew how to respond this time. It couldn't be further from what I wanted to do, but I did it. I left work without telling anyone. No one needs to know. I'm not going to get fired for this. Before I would have fretted about the right thing to do. Should I wait until 5? Should I let his spouse or kids go in first? Nope, I hung up the phone and drove straight to the hospital.

I walked quickly and directly to his room. I was the first one there. I didn't know exactly what I was going to say or do yet, but I knew I had to be there.

To this day, it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

I sat on his bed, told him -through tears- how hard it was the first time I almost lost a family member. I told him how important he was to his family, how much he was loved and needed, and that God had a plan for him. We both sat there crying for what felt like an hour. I prayed with him and shared what he was feeling.

He's doing much better today.

Did I save his life? Absolutely not, I can't claim that, that was God. The circumstances through which he survived are miraculous, but that's not my story to share. I can promise he remembers that day and how I responded though. And it strengthened my abilities tremendously for when a similar scenario happens again.

I don't wish to live through these events again and I hope you never do either. But we are broken people in a broken world, and claiming any other reality is simply naive - pulling the wool over your own eyes because you don't want to think about it. I'm proud of how I responded now, but even more important was the impact I was able to make.

These are the times we must prepare for. Family is going to need you. Friends are going to rely on you. Sometimes it's minor, other times it's life and death.

This is what sets us apart.

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