Aug 7 in Mental Resilience
Get Perspective!
Think back to something difficult you’ve seen all the way through to fruition. A good example for me was engineering college. There were many insufferable nights full of studying where I wondered why I was there. Heavy schedules of pre-requisite courses I didn’t want to take, hateful professors who only communicated through teaching assistants, and little money to survive on week to week. Why would I choose this for myself? Did I want to be an engineer that bad?
Right now, I’m training for a marathon. I don’t even like running that much! It’s a bucket list goal I want to mark off this year, and running is good for me, but I really don’t enjoy the mental aspect of running. It’s so difficult to do something so simple for hours at a time: just run! There’s nothing to it, but the sheer mass of passing time rarely seems easier to endure than the last time.
What do these two scenarios have in common? It’s only hard for now. Years in our lives go by seemingly faster and faster; when we look back at the past, we don’t remember the trials as much as the accomplishments. I’m so thankful that I pushed through the engineering degree. Although I’m not using it now, it enabled me to pursue the further education I really wanted, it put me in a position to meet my wonderful wife, and I created friendships and adventures I wouldn’t trade anything for. What if I had given up because it was too hard?
The same goes for the marathon. I sprained my ankle last month. I don’t even know how I did it. I was running on flat ground in shoes I’ve had for months and all of the sudden my ankle felt way too big for the shoe. Then, I have IT band syndrome as well. That’s lovely. The days I run without pain are much fewer than the days with. You know what though? I’m going to run that marathon without stopping, and I’m going to be extremely proud of doing so. Why? Simply because it’s a goal I have and I want to accomplish it. I only know of 1-2 people in my social circles who have completed a marathon, and I know it’s a difficult task. I don’t shy away from difficult.
Don’t only live in the moment. Yes, when times are good or bad, you should be present, living with yourself, your friends, and your family so that life doesn’t completely pass you by like an NPC, but remember your life is not defined by one day. Or one week. Your life is the totality of the experiences you decide to endure, and you usually won’t find these within your comfort zone.
Practice delayed gratification. Start small and work your way up. Complete your daily to-do list before you reward yourself with “X” treat, achieve 3 larger goals before you reward yourself with “Y” toy, and accomplish 10 extra projects before you take that “Z” trip. The better at this you get, the more you can accomplish in a shorter amount of time than others. We all get the same amount of hours in a day, but you can put more in your hours.
Push through the mental mud. Is it actually going to kill you though? My favorite bumper sticker this year is “But did you die though?”. In a world that welcomes whining and complaining about how “life’s not fair” and “you didn’t get acknowledged the way you think you should have”, try taking a step back and realizing how short a period this is going to be in your life, and how much better off you’ll be with it behind you. If you quit, you only kick the inevitable can down the road, or you hamstring yourself from growing again.
As soon as you get through it, you’re done! Easier said than done, of course, but there is an end in sight to these periods. Don’t forget that, it’s not forever. Think about others who have already accomplished what you wanted to do. How long did it take that person? On social media, it might appear to have been overly simple. She did it with a smile the whole time, he didn’t have to jump over a single hurdle, but if you think through the details you’ll likely find they did it the same way you are. When you tell others about your accomplishment later, it’s going to appear simple to them!
There’s a reason everyone is talking about embracing the suck, or learning to love the boring tasks in life. Why? Because immediate results are rare in every facet of life. “Get rich quick” schemes are just that: schemes. Have you ever tried to get fit in 30 days? How long did it take you to get out of shape? It’s not realistic to undo in 30 days what you did over 6 years! Learn to love patience and growth. When you can achieve this mentality, you can develop resilience and overcome every barrier thrown your way. Only you can stop yourself!
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