You can’t be responsible for someone else’s sense of security

🔥

Here’s the hard truth: no matter how much you change your behavior, you cannot make someone feel secure. You can bend over backward, anticipate their needs, and try to be exactly who you think they want you to be, but that doesn’t guarantee their sense of security.

Why? Because real security—the kind that gives us peace and steadiness—has to come from within.

Trying to change yourself to make someone else feel secure is like pouring water into a bucket with a hole in the bottom.

You can keep pouring and pouring, but it will never be enough because that hole isn’t yours to fix.

It’s theirs.

Security doesn’t come from controlling the people or situations around us—it comes from knowing and accepting ourselves.

When we try to change who we are to make someone else feel safe, we’re actually disconnecting from our own truth. We’re stepping out of authenticity, and that’s where resentment and exhaustion start to creep in. Plus, when we abandon ourselves in the process, we’re teaching the other person that their security is more important than our own. And that’s not love.

That’s fear in disguise.

The bottom line is this: you can’t be responsible for someone else’s sense of security.

You can show up with kindness, empathy, and understanding, but their inner peace is their work to do, just like yours is your responsibility. True security comes from vulnerability, from trusting ourselves enough to be imperfect, and from letting others be imperfect, too.

So, instead of changing yourself to make someone feel secure, focus on showing up fully as you are—flaws and all. Real connection and trust are built from that place of authenticity and self-acceptance.

That’s the foundation of authentic, healthy relationships.

2 comments