3d ago in Wins 🥳
The 3 most vital lessons I've ever learned in business and life
Some Big Dick Psychology Lessons From A Professional Ghostwriter…
If you’re striving to bring your dreams to life, but you feel like you’re missing something that’s just out of reach… read this:
90% of businesses don’t survive.
However, it’s not 90% of businesses that fail…
It’s 90% of PEOPLE.
Don’t blame the business — they’re not running the show!
This post will reveal the THREE most VITAL LESSONS you need to achieve anything in life…
But most of all, when trying to grow your business:
Psychology is the key you’ve been missing.
I’ve been studying psychology all my life.
Observing.
Watching.
Waiting.
Waiting for my time to shine.
Only that time never came…
All I would ever do is watch other people succeed. Own their truth. Speak their mind.
But somewhere deep inside that truth remained locked within me.
An energy that couldn’t escape.
Trapped inside my own mind.
The frustration of not being in control of my own life, the anxiety at not knowing how to act, the terror at the thought someone might genuinely SEE me.
Putting myself out there never came naturally to me.
Connecting with others never came easily to me.
When you’re out of sync with your sense of self-worth, unable to see beyond your own nose and stuck in your head — you’re playing life on hard mode.
But really…
The truth sets you free.
There is an objective truth to the universe.
If you say there isn’t?
Well that can’t be true then, can it.
The problem is we can’t see that objective truth.
We all have our own version of the truth, but I believe, once we fully connect to the part of ourselves that has infinite wisdom, we can’t help but see a world much truer than the one we live in now.
The hardest part of business, and life:
Owning that truth…
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We Don’t See The Same Truth
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Every single person sees the world in their own unique way. Their paradigm.
If you try to sell someone on an idea that’s outside their paradigm — they literally CAN’T understand it. If the idea is beyond the scope of their state or their paradigm — they will not listen.
Ever tried telling someone angry to “calm down”?
Yeah good luck buddy.
Or if you try explaining to a deeply selfish person that giving to others is the best way to get them to give you what you want…
You might trigger an “error” in their mind and shut down their pea-sized brain…
The problem with the world nowadays is how people don’t realise they’re a cog in the machine…
We’re all in a Matrix.
Only it’s not robot overlords…
It’s systems of thought and unconscious programs that run our everyday society.
And we’re stuck playing over the same loops.
Nobody really SEES the real us...
We hide it behind a mask, or a persona, and a public social media profile.
But what’s the fucking point?
Your friends, customers and even strangers might not understand you.
Your audience probably has no clue what you’re about.
The key to achieving the life of your dreams is to realise THREE vital lessons…
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Vital Lesson #1: Flowstanding
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You may be suffering from the curse of mastery.
Nobody understands what you understand. Help them.
Meet people where they’re at — NOT where you think they’re at, or where you wish they were at, or even where they tell you they’re at.
This takes self-awareness but most of all presence.
If you aren’t present in the moment — your awareness of other people is at an all-time low.
And if you don’t work on your consciousness or empathy, you won’t be able to feel others’ feelings, energy or intentions.
The biggest part of sales and marketing is understanding where the reader or customer might be emotionally, mentally and even physically when they join a call or read your writing.
Some call this market research — but I call it Market Intuition.
You need to BECOME your prospect or reader to know what they need to hear next.
But simultaneously you must be present in the moment and relaxed so you can perform…
Tell them not what you want them to do, but what they need to hear to want to move forward.
Persuasion is most effective when someone persuades themselves...
The more you show you understand someone, the more they believe you can solve their problems.
So always put yourself in their shoes when you’re writing or selling.
To be effective at sales or with interactions in general — don’t stay stuck in your head.
The more you focus solely on what you want, or what you’re afraid of, or what to say next…
The less you can actually perform and lead the situation.
The biggest lesson here?
You need a FLOW STATE.
When you combine this with understanding and self-awareness, you arrive at a state of infinite wisdom and performance.
You can do ANYTHING.
I call it Flowstanding…
Maybe you’ve heard of it before. But chances are, you don’t know how to consistently enter it or even what it feels like truly.
I’m working on it too.
My biggest tips?
-- Meditate every day (30m ideally)
-- Work on something you can enjoy and progress in
-- Always challenge yourself and stay just beyond your comfort zone edge
They sound deceptively simple. But mark my words — simple works.
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Vital Lesson #2: Kindness Not Weakness
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Most people see kindness or love as weakness.
The more you love someone and need them — the more power they have over you.
My mum used to say:
“Don’t mistake kindness for weakness.”
Often in my shallow ways, I’d subconsciously mistake someone’s charity for weakness.
Or someone’s empathy for neediness.
But really we’re all projecting what we have inside onto the world.
“We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are” — Anaïs Nin
What does this mean?
It means that whenever you feel hatred for someone else, or envy…
Ask yourself:
-- “What about them can I find in myself?”
-- “What in them am I repressing in myself?”
-- “Who do I perceive myself as in relation to them?”
We must realise that we are the same as everyone else. We’re all connected.
What hurts others hurts you. If you bring a negative energy to others, then that same energy is living inside you.
This is why revenge never works — it backfires on the person playing with fire. Their hatred consumes them. They must dig two graves…
How does this apply to business?
It means the more you show care and empathy to others, the more you’ll be kind to yourself.
The more you can trust the good in others, the more others will see the good in you.
People will trust you if you open up and share vulnerabilities…
It encourages them to do the same.
The top TWO marketing principles for building trust are:
Genuine empathy has more impact than any irresistible offer.
Showing vulnerability and honesty is more attractive than big numbers.
Why?
Because you’re never marketing to a business or a statistic…
You’re writing to a HUMAN.
They have emotions… and at the end of the day, this is how everyone makes their decisions.
So your kindness isn’t weakness.
It’s actually your greatest strength in an online economy starving for trust…
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Vital Lesson #3: Become The Rolex
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This is a strange one…
Why does Rolex have one of the best business models?
Let me break it down for you…
They sell NOTHING.
Well technically they sell watches…
But those watches are about as useful as an Apple Watch (actually they have less functionality).
So how do you build a business selling NOTHING?
Scarcity.
If you want to buy a Rolex or expensive watch — you can’t just slam 100 Grand on the table.
You have to APPLY for the watch, attend like 4 interviews, and then MAYBE you’ll be allowed to pay for the ridiculously overpriced watch, that breaks if you drop it and means nothing to most high-value people.
Yeah, sounds crazy when you say it like that.
The entire business is built on scarcity and status.
You want the Rolex because most people can’t have it.
You feel good when you own it because most people can’t.
But what would happen if Rollex started allowing every Tom, Dick and Harry to buy it instantly?
Their business would crumble.
Because the scarcity (the only thing selling their watches) would crumble.
Pretty sure there’s a big lesson in there…
So how do you create scarcity?
You need to do three things.
Stop being needy and greedy for MORE. This repels people.
Create genuine time constraints with your offers.
Be selective about who you qualify to work with.
If you can become someone who qualifies people instead of themselves…
Others will see you as higher status.
And your time or expertise will become a scarce resource.
THEN you are rich, my friend…
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Conclusion
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Follow these vital lessons and you will see the world open up before you.
These principles are present in every area of life…
But never forget to enjoy the journey. It’s all there is.
Don’t focus on what you lack — focus on what is within your power today:
"There are things which are within our power, and there are things which are beyond our power. Within our power are opinion, aim, desire, aversion, and, in one word, whatever affairs are our own. Beyond our power are body, property, reputation, office, and, in one word, whatever are not properly our own affairs." — Epictetus
TL;DR:
-- Use Flowstanding to enter a state of peak performance and wisdom
-- Show empathy and acceptance without judging yourself or others
-- Create scarcity by valuing your time and removing neediness
Clearly one of the lessons I still need to learn is called fashion...
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The 3 most vital lessons I've ever learned in business and life
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