Big sister controls brother · Real Talk: by Brave Moms

Sep 6 in Q + A

Big sister controls brother

My 7yo daughter constantly criticizes/tells my 5yo son what to do. We’ve talked about sister and mommy roles, how she’s a great sister and doesn’t have to worry about watching him bc it’s mommy’s job. Made it clear it’s good to say something if he’s hurting her or someone else or himself, but otherwise don’t. Use scripts ‘sister not babysitter’ and ‘focus on you’ to remind her in the moment and try to keep it positive/not lecturing. Made sure I’m not abdicating leadership so she doesn’t feel there’s a gap she needs to fill. Given her other ways to help. Encouraged her to play/focus on her own actions. But it feels like this is only getting worse and it’s constant. So draining on all of us. Any thoughts? Wondering the root- could it be she’s modeling seeing me try to control others? If so how do I move forward now that I’m learning to leave those patterns behind?

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