My kids watch a kids show called Boss Baby. The whole show is about babies, who remain babies as long as they continue to drink this magical milk. Tylenol PM is a pain killer that lulls you to sleep, but for me, it kept me groggy for hours after taking it. Both of these examples model what my self-awareness was like before recovery- never maturing and never really fully awake. This state was super annoying for the people forced to live with me when I wasn’t fully here. Pain kept me taking pain killers and had me self-medicating with immature coping mechanisms. Until the Creator Spirit decided it was time for me to wake up and grow up. I don’t say that in a mean way, but in a sober way—my growth was blocked by childhood coping mechanisms and the self-awareness of a bull in a china shop. So I can see the appeal of avoiding healing—forever being the boss baby—but this gets super annoying for people waiting for us to grow up. Babies don’t make great husbands. With love.