@Korkai Parithi K Done! You're getting there, just a few more tweaks.

@Saad Nawaz 1ST COPY: - I'm going to the gym, but what does "hitting" mean in the subj line? - I would describe their problem much more in the first few lines just so they can see that we have a lot of knowledge regarding it. - I would keep the same example (Ronnie Coleman) and expound on it further rather than changing it to a water balloon. This is so the reader won't get confused. - You presented protein powders too fast. Add some lines that gradually introduces it. - The words "worry not, there's still a solution" is salesy. - 95% is better than the entire word "percent". - Introduce the product much better. There are a lot of other protein powders out there that are also budget friendly so how does your product differ? 2ND COPY: - Subject line kinda looks like AI generated. Make it more intriguing and answer the question "what would make the reader open this email immediately?" - I would change imagining yourself into something that would show them being envious or jealous. (This is because we want to really trigger the reader's emotional side.) - "People with good physiques get more attention than the average person." - Choices shouldn't be just "as a friend". Since you're email is going in the route of attractiveness it's probably better to change it into something like "women choosing between two people". - Introducing an expert coach immediately sounds extremely salesy. I would add some analogies like "How do you think top NBA players keep improving their game? They simply have coaches and it is the same when improving your body." - Again "worry not" sounds salesy. - Make your pre-CTA and CTA copy much conversational. Treat it like you're just talking to a buddy. Instead of just saying "start your free trial". It's better to introduce it in a friendly way like "I'll even give you something cool, a free trial to my coaching!" - Lastly, it's nice to put some logic into it like "You get to experience my coaching, risk-free."

Love the hook! 😂

is it worth it?