@Juliet Ouma Headline is very good very catchy already took my interest not only to check your copy but to really see what's in there somehow I coudnt copy sentences out of your text without deleting it so I dont do that. When you say that you're die to sharing the secret with me I think this is a little bit too much because nobody is believing you that you have died inside because you wanted to share the secret with us so But the rest is perfect. everything is very catchy is very interesting, it already took my honest interest in it, so I would leave it as it is. the only thing I would change is the Beginning! like I mentioned not telling that you "died" to tell us the secret. because I wouldnt belive you as a stranger because what intrest do <you have in me as a person? thats the only thing really.... rest is perfect
My last post got so many copy's. Thank you guys your great. But at the end it was a little bit too much for me too check them all.... So this time I check only those who leave a like....see you
@Kristiano Pro the headline can be shorter. There are some spelling mistakes. You have good arguments and good examples, but non of them is backed up. Your story is very specific... You say things like " I know you think" and "I know you feel" I would change it into something like... "I know that can feel like" and "maybe you think that" Because the first thing I thought is... That email is not for me...it's only for people who exactly 💯 thing that. Also you have no justifications for why it is how you say it is. Add some and it will be good 👍
@Vks Parky I like it very much. First email I can't say anything negative about it. Leave it as it is, it's very good. Made me laugh myself and also I think I will take that into my swipe file...good job 👍👍👍👍
this is my second attempt on landing page guys, please review it for me and let me know what you think https://shongwelwazi28.wixsite.com/eliteworkouts-1
Because I as a person would be more interested in knowing how you found a general path for everyone Than to hear a very personal story that only relates to you.