Hey everybody. I’m Jordan. I’ve been seeking and dabbling in “spiritual” things for about 10 or so years. I was raised Southern Baptist (Christian) then this was what followed in a nutshell: -Earnestly questioning (then doubting) Christian, atheist, agnostic, binge-listened to other’s psychedelic experiences, dabbled in energy practices (wasted some money here), Buddhism (as discussed primarily in puredhamma.net), Falun Gong, Orthodox Christianity, and now hovering around Adyashanti books and quite a few non-duality YouTube channels. -I’ve become disenchanted with guru fixation or worship, so I gravitate to those who don’t allow worship or at least don’t self-aggrandize. I also have trouble with sticking to one single practice now because of my lack of motivation or follow through, which scares me a little. I also tend to use books or YouTube to pacify my mind rather than applying what I learn from them. -What originally motivated me seemed to be raw curiosity, but it’s changed and I feel like I can’t help but to go this direction. Difficult life circumstances and relationships seem to hold my feet to the fire. -The one thing I struggle the most with regarding inner peace is allowing uncomfortable emotions or states to just be; finding the peace within the pain. I have yet to experience this detachment from and alchemy of emotions.