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2 contributions to The 4D Copywriting Community
please review my copy
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QUFM4-c_RnI1nQabK5jQzqTkPCew8UKp72BjPU44jeM/edit?usp=sharing
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New comment Nov '24
0 likes β€’ Nov '24
I would include what you are eating and how it has worked for you. As it stands there is alot of information and no proof. no Testimonial or a reason to believe that it does work. the instructions are vague. Try to build more trust in your system.
1 like β€’ Nov '24
@Souvik Bhattacharjee Grammarly, watch your punctuation. it is inconsistent. CTA is very direct and forgettable . Use the connection you are building throughout to make your CTA more meaningful. Hope that helps!
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New comment Dec '24
0 likes β€’ Nov '24
@Jacinta Jay Work on structure! the second half of the email felt like it just reiterated the first half. You can use less words and still be precise! Also punctuation.
0 likes β€’ Nov '24
@Steve Vitor Less metaphors will helpt clean it up and make it read more clearly. To much imagery. It is good but it makes it hard to stay focused on the message.
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Andrew Parker
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2points to level up
@andrew-parker-9285
Trying to become great at sales πŸ™πŸΎ

Active 61d ago
Joined Oct 23, 2024
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