What does it actually mean to be a confident man? In this video, I break down confidence in a way most people never talk about it — not as bravado, dominance, or pretending you don’t care, but as living with integrity so you stop doubting yourself, seeking approval, or losing sight of who you are. This is part three of the Nice Guy Recovery series, and it’s specifically for men who have spent years compromising themselves to be liked, accepted, or validated — only to end up feeling invisible, disrespected, or lost. We’ll explore why confidence has nothing to do with impressing others and everything to do with impressing yourself. I explain how integrity works as an internal operating system, why honesty is the real foundation of confidence, and how constantly hiding your preferences fractures your identity over time. You’ll also learn why confidence requires risk — including rejection, misunderstanding, and upsetting people — and why avoiding those things is exactly what keeps nice guys stuck. I introduce the idea of “micro-honesty” as a practical way to rebuild self-trust without forcing yourself into massive, overwhelming changes. I also share a real client story that shows how a single honest moment can radically change your confidence, dating life, career, and self-respect. If you’ve ever felt like you’re playing different versions of yourself depending on who you’re with — or you’re tired of being liked but not respected — this video will challenge you in the best way. 👉 Watch the full video and see what happens when you stop trying to be impressive — and start being real.

I wish I found this (and that it existed) 25 years ago when I was dating and I had no clue what I was doing. When I was actively looking for girls, I was terrible at it. Couldn't work up the courage to ask someone out, and couldn't follow through on opportunities as they came. Several girls came and went that I could have gotten somewhere with but blue it. Froze up. Mental ED before I could get myself somewhere physically. Its a wonder I ever made it to first base with my wife. Now after 25 years we are in a bad state. It probably is not salvagable. But I am not going into this thinking it can be saved, because regardless I have to fix these issues with myself. Pretty much everything she has complained about is succinctly covered in Nice Guy Syndrome. Other things that I do are described by autistic traits, that I never knew about until recently, like masking, and other things. And so we've been on this rollercoaster of, I can be "good" for a short time, weeks or months, but then I fall off. And shes understandably tired of that and can't do it. What I am finding though is that it seems like those up times are the times when I am trying so hard to be a good husband, good father, etc and be attentive to all their needs etc but it takes so much effort that I cannot maintain it. So, during those times, am I just being fake? covertly manipulative to keep everyone happy? Wearing a mask and hiding all my traits that I dont think anybody will like (the nerdy, autistic side of me)? Is it the case that maybe she actually only ever liked the fake me and not the real me? I know I have these nice guy bad habbits, thats not up for debate, and I need to fix that. But it seems like whenever I try to implement that, it just makes things worse. Also, in additon to the psychological issues that lead to ED I beleive I've had a physical ED issue probably all this time as well. I was recently tested for low T and I am borderline for clinical treatment (but just above what insurance would have covered). I think I have probably been low or up and down for my whole adult life, which has lead to situations where I can't perform. She thinks I was intentionally witholding sex but I dont think I have.

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