So during the live demonstration of energy hygiene I was able to picture everything during the exercise, and did notice I felt noticeably more peaceful as we were going along.
However, once we got to picturing a magnet on the left and right of us, I didn’t feel as peaceful anymore. It was kind of odd, but things moved along in the session, and I didn’t think about it again.
A couple days later, when I was giving this a try again on my own, my mind literally would not let me peacefully picture a magnet, or any other force on my right and left. It was as if there was alot of swirling angst and tension in those places, and it refused to be touched.
This led me on an exploration of what sort of energy or symbolism was part of our left and right. Most of what I found seemed to point to those areas as being representative of duality and masculine and feminine energy.
I made the connection from what I was discovering, with the fact that I often have two dueling voices or senses going on in my mind as I walk through my day. I realized the personalities and tones of these two parts are very representative of masculine and feminine energy.
I am also aware of how the constant tension, of these places in me trying to exist together, does cause me alot of tension and sometimes confusing weariness. (Note: this “war” was even worse in the past… I have done alot of work to continually bring harmony between the two, and while there has been growth, and I have become much more functional then I used to be, it’s a roller coaster ride and seasons of ease come and go)
After realizing this connection to the “left & right” issue in the energy clearing exercise, it was as if these two places in me, somehow finally understood the problem from both sides, and I could feel & see them coming together to support each other and work through this split to the benefit of both sides.
As I watched and felt this happening inside of me, I felt a new level of peace and hope grow in me! This was all yesterday, and I still feel the cooperation and more peace going on.
It’s so much quieter in my head!! But I don’t feel like I have lost anything… it’s not like one part left or was eliminated. At the time of this revelation I pictured in my mind’s eye each part of me sitting on the ground, comfortably back to back, relaxing against each other almost in a sort of stunned, but restful state.
Then last night as I lay there, pondering what was unfolding as all this new information was being absorbed, I pictured both these parts of myself standing facing each other, and each putting an arm and hand in the air towards the other, sort of like two superheroes activating a power when their palms touched.
This is an amazing change because typically how I experience and picture these two parts of me is one part of me lives being angry and feeling forced to participate in a life of activities that feel unwanted and tedious; while the other part of me lives seeing what’s possible and wanting to “dig in” but lives in frustration and resentment toward that part of me that always seems to be uninterested in cooperating, and has to be dragged along in anger or boredom.
This usually causes a condition where “they” are always trying to make deals with each other to move life along the way they each want it to happen.
Bottom line is, right now I feel much more peace, hope and energy towards life… there is a bit of hesitation towards the unknown ahead, and hesitation to believe this could all be a permanent change, but at this point I’m not overly worried or being paralyzed by that thought.
I’m the kind of woman who receives just what I need when I need it, and doesn’t fear the places ahead that remain unknown!