Of course you can! But here are some wise distinctions that I got in an email from Shay Aiyana today that I was prompted to share with you (I've paraphrased and condensed this, but it's a super useful reminder):
There are memes going around suggesting that folks with “baggage” from the past don’t know how to love. And in some cases, that can be true, but that's only one possible outcome.
Having a trauma background or coming from family dysfunction doesn't automatically mean a person doesn’t know how to love.
>>Sometimes it’s the people who have the most baggage, the people who have seen rock bottom and had the privilege of finding themselves on a healing path that become the most attentive and committed partners.
They are the ones who know their own darkness, have seen crisis and pain, endured loss and made mistakes along the way.
And when these folks choose to heal, they are often the most committed to growth and they also understand that no relationship is perfect and requires patience. (That's this tribe, for sure! W)
Don’t judge a person for their past. Instead, get to know someone’s heart and their willingness.A perfect childhood doesn’t automatically create a perfect partner.
>>The number one thing that all great partners have in common is willingness. To grow, to be honest, to show up, to try again, to drop their walls and to communicate.