“Just be confident!”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re short, broke, or barely speak the language. Just BE CONFIDENT and people will love you!”
Easier said than done, right?
People give this advice like it’s actionable.
“Oh wait … be CONFIDENT?! Why didn’t I think of that! I mean, I’ve only been told the same thing ten million times, but now it finally sunk in! Problem solved!”
Like you can summon confidence with a snap of the finger after a lifetime of having it beaten out of you.
So many guys ask me “Michael, how can I become more confident?”
Think of it this way … did you lack confidence on the playground as a child?
Or did you run up to whatever kid was nearby and invite them to play with you?
None of us are BORN with a lack of confidence.
Our natural confidence just gets covered up by:
- Lack of gratitude.
- Lack of present-moment awareness.
- Comparing ourselves to others.
So if you lack confidence, how can you become MORE confident? Three ways that I have seen …
PLAN A: BE A DELUSIONAL NARCISSIST. You know the guy (or girl). No matter how much they fail, no matter how incompetent they are, they think they’re the shit. Nothing can dissuade them from the notion that they’re the shit. And what do you know … more often than not, despite their delusion, things seem to go their way! That’s the power of confidence. Of course, most of us can’t just tap into that kind of delusion – it grows over time. So we’re left with …
PLAN B: BECOME COMPETENT. Forget about confidence and get really good at something.
Something useful. Something attractive. Doesn’t matter if it’s marketing, cold approach, coding, dancing, sports, martial arts, music … practice practice practice, become REALLY GOOD at something, and confidence will naturally follow.
PLAN C: PRACTICE GRATITUDE AND PRESENT-MOMENT AWARENESS. You should implement this plan anyway. Stop comparing yourself to others and find things to be grateful for every day. It doesn’t matter if your life isn’t everything you wanted it to be. I learned to practice gratitude in an Air Force base in Afghanistan when my life was FAR from what it is today. Remember, most of the world lives on less than $1 a day. If you have food, shelter, clean clothes, and a few bucks in your pocket, that’s a start. Start there!