Jul 15 in The Bonfire 🔥
HW 2
Catching up!
Feedback appreciated!
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Imagine a person who is born into a well to do family.
They may have great internet, good food, access to all the books they need.
They may have encouraging support and a strong education.
But they aren’t changing in the ways that they need to.
Why would that be?
You may have heard this quote before: “The only constant is change.”
Let me put it in another way: “Change is a given. Our participation with it is not.”
But why don’t we participate in the very change we say we want?
One of the most powerful ways to make a shift in one’s life is to change one’s daily habits.
But not just any habit. It has to be a specific kind of habit.
James Clear, in his book “Atomic Habits”, calls these “identity based habits”.
These are habits that focus not on what you want to achieve, but on who you want to become.
This focuses on the core layer of behavior change, which is identity.
Therefore, one of the main reasons why many of us DON’T change is because we don’t change our identity, those core beliefs that define who we are.
We don’t change the habits that are contributing to the old identity into habits that will contribute to who we wish to become.
But how do we know which habits are identity based habits?
How do we know that what we want to become — a powerful billionaire, a famous influencer, a perfectly chiseled model— is actually authentic and worth pursuing, and not just a result of being influenced by a polluted culture and environment?
In other words, how do we know which identity based habits are authentic?
For this, we need to dig a little deeper.
Our identity is a set of global, core beliefs that define our self, our experience and our perception of the world. It gives us a sense of certainty, referring to that part of us that remains the same through all experiences.
But if our identity is built upon a false set of beliefs, then our understanding of ourselves may not be completely authentic.
Many of us are born in a certain ethnocultural environment, go through a school system, get raised on Hollywood movies and celebrity culture, and end up identifying with partisan political beliefs to inform our understanding of what’s happening in the world.
In this process of socialization, we may lose touch of that authentic essence that we were born with, before the essence ever has a chance to truly express itself.
Then, we spend our adult lives believing a false story based on a false way of defining ourselves
This limits our ability to share our gifts and carry out the purpose that we were born to fulfill.
So what do we do about it?
How do we change our identities in a way to reclaim our authentic selves?
This is where it becomes important to gain a better understanding of the process of change and transformation itself.
Change is not a static entity. Change is also not a fantasy based idealism.
Change is based in reality, meaning it operates using the same principles as nature.
The principles of change are grounded in the principles of life.
The better we understand life and nature, the better we can understand change.
The better we understand change, the more we can participate with it.
But here is where the paradox exists.
To better understand change, we must participate with it.
And this is where we can come to work together.
There is no shortage of ways to participate in the process of change.
Meditation, Dreamwork, Breath-work, Journaling, Creative Arts Practice, etc…You may already have many that you use.
The key lies with intent: in approaching your practice AS the vehicle of change that it is.
And the key lies with awareness: to have a context within which to direct your efforts.
To gain a lucid sense of WHO you want to become, so that you can take on those identity based habits, and actually participate with the change using the processes that you already use.
In her book Parable of the Sower, Octavia Butler said “God is Change”.
If God is Change, then to change would be to begin to embody God.
In this way, the experience of change can become a collaborative participation with God to embody more God.
If this sounds like a journey you’d like to pursue, I would be honored to support you in it.
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HW 2
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