Your addiction to porn is the solution to your addiction to porn and here is how 👇
There is something that you get from watching porn, something that you enjoy, and very likely it's soothing and offers you a sense of connection and intimacy. Developing this level of understanding and acceptance of this aspect of the relationship that you have with porn is a powerful step to removing it's power from you.
We give our power away by getting mentally caught up in polarity — or in others words, we get caught up in good vs bad.
Porn is neither bad or good. It both serves you and causes you pain. When you can accept both sides, you will free yourself from the power it holds on you because now you're seeing the full picture and you will be able to make a conscious choice as whether to watch it or not.
What is a conscious choice? 💭
A conscious choice is when you can see both sides (good and bad) and the neutral position. It's when you can consciously make a choice to take action in acceptance and in taking responsibility for both the benefits and the costs.
When it comes to porn, most men are choosing to watch it out of reaction (desire + lust), and thus when they emerge from their intoxicated stuper of satisfying their desires, they feel ashamed and in very low energy.
Simply choosing to watch porn knowing and owning completely that it is not in the highest for your brain and body health is a powerful step in a more conscious and empowering direction. A process I have guided many of my clients through.
🚨 Do this practice ASAP if you're struggling with porn 🚨 :
- Get out your journal, or anywhere you can write
- Create two lists columns: 1. How it serves me, and 2. How to does not serve me
- Write down all the ways porn serves you (i.e. it feels good, it calms me down, it gives me a rush, it relieves stress, it makes me feel high, etc)
- Write down all the way porn does not serve you (i.e. it drains my energy, it leaves me feeling disconnected from my partner, it leaves me feeling gross, it distracts from work and hobbies I love, it makes me feel in a very low vibe state, etc)
- Read this list every day for the next 90 days and continue to add to it over the 90 days
- Every time you have the urge to watch porn, look at the list and make a conscious choice to either watch or not based on how it serves you and does not serve you
Watching porn does not make you a bad person. Only your thoughts make you a bad person. Navigating the relationship you have with pornography will allow you to see it from all perspectives and thus release you from it's nasty grips.
Reminder: there is a very innocent part of you that is likely very soothed by watching porngraphy and getting yourself off to it. Despite perhaps the intense version of porn that you watch, and the very intense feelings you get from watching it, deep down there's a pure and innocent aspect of you seeking deep connection. Sex and pleasure are not inherently exclusive to connection - this is why chronically watching porn and ejaculating to it leaves you feeling hollow. True connection to self usually requires that you feel and integrated uncomfortable emotions that you're avoiding. When you understand this, you can go through a journey of willingly feeling the uncomfortable emotions that will eventually be integrated and thus offer you a deeper feeling of connection and wholeness to yourself. With that deeper connection, sex and pleasure are going to feel a lot better. Additionally, you're not going to want to return to porn because it's going to feel disconnected from your body and your heart. Here you can see why de-armouring the heart and being in deep connection with your heart is paramount for true self connection and thus true self pleasure, and amazing sex.