I have been chatting to clients a lot lately about their sphere of control - I want this space to be a place of giving so when themes like this come up I will share them here. Simple concept of only thinking about, planning for and taking action on things that are actually within your control. Bloody hard to actually do. So much of our life is at the beck and call of others; notifications on your phone, at work and then family and friends all coming at you that if you don't have a clear idea of what's in your control and what isn't it can be very easy to get overwhelmed and start wasting energy on things you can't actually do anything about. The next layer to this is then understanding that even when some things ARE in your scope of control maybe just because you CAN act doesn't mean you should. The best example of this is DISTRACTION. Imagine this: You're feeling overwhelmed so you try to focus on just what you can control...you can control scrolling on your phone for 2 hours before bed, obsessing about what colour bedspread you might buy next or what your next haircut should be but those things are not actually helping your overwhelm they are just a DISTRACTION from putting the same energy into controlling the things you CAN and SHOULD. I hear you screaming well how do I know if I SHOULD...simple answer is Mindfulness and Curiosity. Long answer.... You don't...at least not right away. You need to practice noticing when you are feeling in a way that isnt comfortable - discomfort is a teacher - then becoming curious about WHY you dont feel comfortable. Once you know why you feel that way it will be easier to see what you can do about it. You also need to have a toolbox of things to try and things to lean on...weirdly distraction is a tool IF its used mindfully. SUMMARY If it's not in your sphere of control don't waste your precious resources on it (time, money, energy) If it's in your sphere of control, is it in line with your state (how you feel) - If you can should you?