I spoke these words to myself today: "Stop lying to yourself!" Then, I took some time to meditate on Romans 12:3. One could believe that Romans 12 is a great book on transformation. Verse 3 encourages us to stop and evaluate the gifts we've received. It also encourages us to not think too highly of ourselves but to be sober-minded. This is where the verse really hits me.
I've gone so many years evaluating myself incorrectly. Like so many, I lie to myself and consider that I'm higher than I truly am. I'll lie to myself about simple things like the tasks I tell myself I would complete, the goals I've told myself I'd reach or the gifts I said I'd use. I'd flat out just lie. It's not as if I don't know the ability God has given me. Like others, I'm aware of my gifts and my ability yet I refuse to do as I ought.
I've had to learn how to be honest with self. It's as simple as telling myself that I'm going to do something that I know good and doggone well I'm not going to do. It's fun to tell self that you'll take 20 minutes a day to read and study on your craft, but you'll know deep down that you're lying to yourself. You're not going to do it. Heck, you won't even attempt to do it. I have to stop the lying to self because...sadly, I'll convince self that I'm untrustworthy. That's insane, right? I'm convincing myself that I should not trust myself. I can no longer like that way. I have to let my "yes" be "yes" and my "no" be "no". If I'm going to lock in to a goal then I must be prepared to complete it, which is why I am compelled by Christ to count the cost first.
Here's what I've had to do today--write down the ways I'm lying to self and address them truthfully! This has been difficult but necessary.
How about you?