"A World Within" | Psalm 46:10

Silence has a deep place in the hearts of many men. Psalm 46:10 reads: "Be still, and know that I am God." While this verse speaks to our need to quiet our soul to listen, the craziness and challenges of life oftentimes gets in the way. Silence, or a place of escape, becomes a place of refuge to gain strength and/or clarity. It becomes a place to process life's demands, challenges and deep emotions. But this silence, if misunderstood by those around him, can be isolating and may even cause pain to those who long to understand what's happening in his heart.

I wrote a book years ago called DECODING THE SILENT MAN'S LANGUAGE (it's available on Amazon). I wrote the book because my wife would always worry about my silence. She constantly asked me, "What are you thinking about?" There were times that I was able to formulate the words to explain what was on my heart, and there were times when I didn't really know what was going on. All I knew was that my silence was a means of escaping internally to a different world. This world became the only place for me to just "be" without "doing" anything. Although all of life's demands where present with me in that world, I could compartmentalize exactly what I wanted to focus on while I was there. My wife took it as rejection; for me, it was a method of escaping.

The stresses of life can be difficult to understand and stand under. The weightiness of life's hardships becomes a bit much to even consider at times. I'd go as far as trying to withhold my thoughts and problems from my wife because I didn't want to burden her with my issues. When I did answer her call to just let her know what was in my head, I QUICKLY realized why the Scripture tells us that women are the weaker vessels. This means that our capacity as men allows us to carry more. Our shoulders are broader. Our hearts are bigger. Our muscles grow larger. We have a higher capacity. Still, the weight becomes too much to carry, which is why more men end their lives without murmuring a word to anyone. One day he's throwing the ball with his children, and he's gone the next. How could this be? Well, he lived in another world within. That was his place to escape.

Psalm 46:10 reminds us that silence doesn't have to be a bad thing. We can take steps away to think and commune with God. As we travel to that other world, we are encouraged to let Him in with us so we don't have to figure it out on our own! We can also be encouraged to allow other people in as well as we feel comfortable. The goal is to never stay in that world within alone. Why? Because it is NEVER good for man to be alone!

And for the women reading this to understand their husband a little better, please know that adding more on his plate or nagging him about his silence won't make him open up more. It can be proven that it causes him to shut down more. Or he will give you just enough information to get you off his back. Just know that although he may seem okay on the outside, there could be a storm raging within. How do you provide peace in the midst of a storm? Shelter! If you desire to be a place of shelter for him, provide courage. Encouragement literally looks like you cutting open his heart and pouring courage inside. This makes him stronger. Discouragement is you opening his heart and pulling out all the courage he has left. This makes him bitter, angry and depressed. Nagging is a form of discouragement. It says to him: "You're not enough!" And for a man, "being enough" means everything to him.

May God abide with all the silent men and provide the women around us with strength, courage and grace that matches their natural beauty. And may we get silent enough to trust Him. Selah.

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