Since a few days ive started paying more attention to my sleep, that i get enough & stay in my sleep routine.
Now before going to sleep i always get into the feeling of my wish fullfilled & just feel great.
But as soon as i get into this state, somewhere between being asleep & awake i realise that this feeling Vanishes, like emotions at all are gone. The only feeling that remains is a little „bad mood“ i wouldnt even call it a typical bad mood its just a feeling of being exhausted wanting to rest i guess?
Now ive realised the last days that i actually never really fall asleep, like i stay in this state somewhere in between sleeping and being awake. Im resting but my conscious mind never really turns off. im fully aware of laying in my bed. Last night i had kind of a bad dream. Well i dont even know if its been a dream because if been fully aware of it the whole time.
its been a dream about a desire of mine not coming true, but the very second this scene took place i was fully aware of it not being real, of it just being a dream with my mind saying „im alright“
at 5am the alarm went of and it didnt even feel like waking up. I wasnt even tired anymore It was like just becoming „more aware“ until my conscious mind kicked back in and took over.
so i drank my coffee and was ready for the day.
Throughout the day, it is super easy for me to redirect my thoughts, or to get back in state when i realise i fell out of it. Im in a great mood for most of the times. Its just the nights that make me wonder whats going on.
What are youre thoughts on this? Thank you in andvance.