Thank y'all amazing men for sharing your experiences and inspiring, motivating me to do the work as well. I decided to take another attempt at "answering my call" as during the first attempt I was way too much in my head. First thing I will share is why I choose to this again today. Last two days I have been questioning why am I doing this work. Am I even ready? I tried to understand the protective parts but nothing showed up. It's been 3 weeks in the new year and I barely have put in the work that is required or I am supposed to be doing. I was overwhelmed with too much to do. I chose the easy option, I decided that I will reach out to Chris tell him that I am not ready yet and I will come back when I am ready. And then I decided to go chase the dopamine so that I could distract myself. When walking around the pier I bought a bottle of juice at this small shop and while adding tip I messed up and ended up adding just 1 cent instead of a dollar. I was embarrassed given the pregnant lady who was selling it to me and the friend I was with they both were very confused. What I did was to keep my head down and immediately leave that place. For the next hour I was beating myself up in my head for not be able to do the right thing there or even own my mistake. Then I decided to sit for sometime as I couldn't take it anymore and realised it might be my protective part who has this dire need to look good or always do the right thing or not disappoint others. In that moment all the noise stopped and I decided to come back to it. Long story short this afternoon I decided to take a walk at a nearby beach and randomly stopped at 3 spots to write answers to the questions. Some of the questions and their answers ended up being more clear like: What do you need to happen here this year? I need to find my clarity in everything I am doing. But what changed was it has to be for me not for me to look good or judge myself based on comparison. The reason I need to move with clarity as that’s the only way I can give my all to something as I don’t like to half ass things in my life.

@David Shepherd thanks for the encouraging words🙏