As we look at the threshold of crossing over from 2025 to 2026 I am sharing what I read this afternoon BECAUSE for all of us that are building something - this question matters: "Productivity is a prison sentence if you are not ALIVE in what you are building." That really landed with me and revealed the truth that in all my "planning" re the Skool community I want to build...I've been playing it 'safe' and staying-in-the-lines (of the colouring book) of what I THINK I should be creating. Yet when I think ahead to 2026 and the consistency that will be required to reach the goals I've set - I don't feel alive. I feel same-samey or self-limiting in order to fit a mould I think I should fit. So - back to the drawing board for me. Am responsible for that next step now that I have this awareness. Thank goodness I realised this NOW and not half way into next year.

Before the world taught me to behave, before responsibility rearranged my path, before fear replaced imagination… Who did I want to become? Not the job. Not the résumé. The identity I felt forming beneath the surface. A hero? A creator? A protector? A wanderer of hidden places? Most of us outgrew the dream before we understood what it meant. But here’s the truth: What you wanted to be was never childish. It was pure direction. A signal from the part of you that hasn’t been edited by expectation. So… return to that voice for a moment. What did you want to be? And what remains of that desire now? Share below. Not to chase nostalgia… but to remember the thread you were never meant to drop.

I was terminated from a job today over an I-9 documentation issue. There were things I should have handled sooner. There were steps I didn’t follow through on correctly. That part is on me. What’s sitting with me is how familiar this pattern is. Not because I don’t care. I care deeply. But because attention and executive functioning challenges keep showing up in structured work environments in ways that cost me, even when I’m trying and even when the work matters to me. I’m not sharing this to excuse it. I’m sharing it because pretending it’s just a one-off mistake hasn’t helped me learn from it. Fast-paced systems, admin-heavy tasks, tight compliance rules, and little margin for error are hard for me to sustain long term, especially when I’m managing medication changes and mood instability. That’s uncomfortable to say out loud. There’s a lot of shame in realizing that wanting to work full time, or wanting to “be more together,” doesn’t automatically make it accessible. There’s grief in accepting that capacity has limits that motivation alone can’t fix. Today feels like a forced pause. Not a clean one. A clarifying one. I’m trying to hold responsibility without turning it into self-punishment. I can see where I dropped the ball, and I can also see that continuing to ignore how my brain actually works has not served me. Right now I’m focused on next steps. Exploring part-time options. Looking into disability. Rebuilding income in ways that are more sustainable. I’m sharing this here because a lot of us run communities, build systems, and support others while quietly struggling behind the scenes. We talk about alignment, sustainability, and values, but it’s harder to admit when our own structures are breaking us. This is me learning in real time. If you’re a community builder or operator who’s been forced to rethink how you work because of burnout, disability, or capacity limits, you’re not alone. If it feels okay to share, what’s something your work has recently asked you to look at more honestly?