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1d •
🔥 AUCTION OVER! THE PROPOSAL THAT RETIRED ME FROM UPWORK
The auction has ended! Congratulations to @Gasper Crepinsek for taking home my very own "Upwork Retirement Proposal" for the very nice sum of 35,000 pennies! JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, HERE'S WHAT WENT DOWN... Get the exact Upwork proposal template I used to land $159,000 in low-stress retainers while I work 15-hour weeks and travel the world. ⬇️⬇️⬇️ I don't freelance on Upwork anymore. Not because it stopped working. Because ONE proposal template worked so well it retired me. 👉 $159,000 in contracts. 👉 Clients who hired me over 50+ other applicants. 👉 Clients who APOLOGIZED for wasting my time when they couldn't afford me. 👉 $12k retainers from people who'd never met me. Now, I hire people to push the buttons while I look at graphs and tell jokes on Zoom calls. In May, when we go to Japan for 2.5 weeks, other people will keep my machine running while I eat raw fish next to Mt. Fuji. All from Upwork clients. The place everyone says has zero high-paying clients. 🙄 Here’s what we’re gonna do. Grab a walker. Amble on over to the cafeteria and snag a cup of prune juice. Then meet me in the day room and let’s reminisce about the good ol’ days when Upwork was still Elance… 🎉🎉 Welcome to the Upwork Retirement Auction! 🎉🎉 Winner gets the Upwork proposal template that retired me from Upwork—plus, I’ll show you how to “reverse engineer” it for any job your heart desires. Bids start at one cent. Bids can only go UP by one cent. AND... EVERYONE who bids at least one penny in the auction gets a free bonus: The Profile Rescue Kit, which'll fix everything wrong with your profile (that clients actually care about) so you can stop obsessing over which angle to take your next headshot pic. 🤯 But wait, there's more...lol. 🤯 IF... If we get a ton of action on the auction, we'll unlock truckloads of additional hot bonuses for you to stuff in your pockets. One more thing: You're getting the exact proposal structure that pulled six figures out of a platform I no longer compete on.
18d •
💧 Leaky Faucet Drips Buyers Into Your Business
How I Get Facebook to Add 56+ CUSTOMERS (No, Not LEADS) to My Email List Every Month Like Clockwork—at a Slight Profit Only takes a couple hours of effort per month and it’s way lower stress compared to hiring an ad agency or watching Zuckerberg siphon money out of your bank account while his cold lizard tongue laughs and laughs and laughs… Read the report in stunning Google Doc formatting here ### I’ve got a stable ad campaign running to a low-ticket product on Facebook and Instagram. Since March of 2025, this campaign has been working with little intervention, slightly profiting to the tune of 1.21x ROAS for over a year. That means for every dollar I put in, I’m getting $1.21 back. This is… ABYSMAL. I’m bragging about an ad funnel that barely profits when all these cool media buyer gurus are promising 1000x returns if you buy their $27 course? Lmao. I’ve bought a couple of those products before. They’re just lead magnets to whet your whistle, make you feel overwhelmed at running ads yourself, then you hire the agency who made the lead magnet to run YOUR ad campaign…which, by the way, somehow needs $500 a day to “test” ads. And they’re gonna need 2 months to test. And don’t expect to be profitable yet!!! Results are just around the corner. I even hired one of these agencies to improve my campaign last summer. They came in on my BEST month ever…and delivered my two WORST months ever, back to back, after implementing all of their amazing “INDUSTRY BEST PRACTICES.” Then I fired them, switched all my campaigns back to what I used before, and guess what? It worked again. 🙄 If I had to spend $500 per day to “test” something I’m going to be taking blood pressure meds and clutching my desk every morning worrying about going bankrupt. With the funnel I’ve built, I only spend between $50 and $150 per day. That’s enough to avoid consecutive days with no sales—which feels discouraging—and also not TOO much that you feel stressed about your budget.
14d •
What did you build this week?
Not for clients or your day job (if you have one of those). What assets did you build for yourself this week?
3d •
How to get testimonials that make clients swoon
Wanna get the best gosh dang testimonials ever? I'm posting nothing but truth today on April Fools. Why make a holiday out of lies and trickery? Relax, Loki. Here's a deep cut for you--my favorite testimonial ever, back from my Upwork days. "Nick Bandy is an email marketing GOD." I could listen to this on loop, 24/7. I'm sure it didn't hurt with landing that $12,000 retainer, either.
10d •
WOULD YOU BID A 🤯 PENNY 🤯 FOR MY $147,000 PROPOSAL?
I don't freelance on Upwork anymore. Not because it stopped working. Because ONE proposal template worked so well it retired me. $147,000 in contracts (well, actually $159,000 now). From one basic structure that paid off over and over...so I rode that horse off into the sunset. Clients who hired me over 50+ other applicants. $12k retainers from people who'd never met me. Now, I hire people to push the buttons while I look at graphs and tell jokes on Zoom calls. In May, when we go to Japan for 2.5 weeks, other people will keep my machine running while I eat raw fish and nod at reports. This Friday, I'm sending over a proposal for another $5k to $15k retainer (depends) from an existing client--again, from Upwork--for 5 to 10 hours a week of extra work. All money from Upwork clients. Now... I've thought about how to sell this thing. I could bundle it into a course. Do a whole launch. But honestly? That sounds exhausting. And I realized most people don't WANT another course. So here's my dumb idea instead: A penny auction. Bids start at one cent. Bids can only go UP by one cent. If it sells for 31 cents, so be it. That's on all of you. Here's the thing though... I'm not doing this for just a handful of people. If I get enough PENNY comments below, we run it. If not, I'll find something else to do with my Tuesday. I'd rather go play on a plastic slide with my daughter than sit here like a sad sack waiting for comments to roll in. One more thing: The person who wins this isn't getting some dusty template from 2012. You're getting the exact proposal structure that pulled six figures out of a platform I no longer compete on. Which means ZERO competition from me using it. You're welcome. So here's what to do: You'd bid a penny? Drop PENNY below 👇 You think this is stupid? Drop BAN ME below 👇 Either way I wanna hear from you. Your acquaintance, Nick P.S. Is a penny auction stupid? We'll find out together.
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